This past weekend we lost a woman of valor- Rachel Held Evans. Now, I didn't know her personally, I hadn't even read her books yet (I'm halfway through Searching for Sunday now), but I have been deeply impacted by her ministry. So many tributes to her life and work (see #prayforRHE and #becauseofRHE on Twitter) have reminded all of us to speak gratitude and encouragement to those who impact us daily. However, with these positive and loving memories, we have also seen so many who use other's grief to promote their own theology and attack Rachel's memory. I would encourage you to ignore them. This is a season to mourn.
Oddly enough, I didn't cry when I read the news of her passing. I cried later, with heaving sobs, as I read #becauseofRHE. To read so many stories of women, women of color, queer folks, and others who have been welcomed and loved through her work, that was what registered the pain in my soul. I place myself among them. I too, have felt alienated by the evangelical church. I too, am a doubt-filled believer, and I too, choose Christ above the church. I place my faith in an unfailing God.
#BecauseofRHE is a space for those impacted by her work to share that impact and grieve together. There are always strong leaders, people we look up to and follow after in their footsteps. My recent wonderings have led me in and out of doubt, searching, and an insatiable desire to learn more of God. This has led me to enrolling in Denver Seminary's online Masters of Divinity program, beginning in Fall 2019.
When I first started researching seminary, it was actually with the desire to prove others wrong. I wanted to learn more scripture to fight back against those who disagree with me on various theological points. The truth is, that would be a waste of time. They will believe what they believe, it's not up to me to change minds or hearts. I want to go to seminary to get closer to God, to gain a better understanding of the Word. I want to hear from God and from others who seek truth.
I know what I believe about God. And I'm tired of others telling me what to believe. I want to read it for myself. The scriptures are accessible to us for this reason. I'm tired of the way church is done for the sake of tradition. The gospels speak of love, acceptance, and inclusion of the marginalized. I want to fight for those who can't fight or don't have the platform to fight for themselves. I recognize my privilege as a white woman who has grown up in the evangelical movement. I want to use my privilege to fight for others. Let's start listening.
Listen to women of color, people of color, queer folks, indigenous peoples, non-western Christians, non-evangelical Christians, non-Christians. And listen carefully. What they have to say is important.
